John says...

The latest news since E3 2008 is that, Square Enix ( the makers of RPG Final Fantasy series) announced that FF13 will be multiplatform, and yes, that means, it will be released for xbox360 too. Huzzah! I'm quite shocked to hear this news since FF series is a longtime Sony's trademark, but now it's no more. The word MULTIPLATFORM is getting widespread nowadays. No more exclusivity crap; everyone gets to play the game on their favourite consoles. Sharing is CARING, this I agree, dont you think so Jack? :P

Seriously, with this exclusivity thingy, it has created a lot of "fanboyism" wars. Meaning, each consoles fans started to defend and bash each other, but little that they know that the very most important thing is the GAME itself. The GAMES that sells the consoles, driving them to their peak. Maybe we all should start to discuss & compare the GAMES, rather than the CONSOLES. Sheesh.

Having all these talks does not mean I diss SOny. Nope. I did owned a PS2 last time; great games it have alright. Stole almost half of my life playing FFX, GT3, MGS2, etc etc. :P

MULTIPLATFORM is the future... 'nuff said.

Article by:Liquid Jack

   There was a time, when I've imagined that, life is like a movie. Everything that happens to us is scripted, and in this movie, I am the hero. A hero will also persevere, no matter what the situation is. A hero will always get what he wants, eventually. A hero is always the embodiment of what the movie represents, in this case, a hero is the embodiment of what life represents.

   As I go on through life, my hopes of becoming a hero , slowly eroded my beliefs. Then finally, I've realized that there is no hero in my story. Chances to bestill my beliefs presents itself, but I failed miserably,each and every time. After countless failures, I finally took it, sitting down. I am no hero of my story.

   My recent encounter with a certain individual, reignited my beliefs. It feels like, this is the chance that I've been waiting for. I do believe in fate, but I also strongly believe that people tend to misinterpret fate.

  There's always a lesson to be learnt in every event that happened to us. A man learns more from losing, than winning. Will I finally be a hero, someone who I longed to be?

   Life tends to always screw you up:by not giving you what you want and by giving you what you want. I hope that this is the later case. Just keep in mind Jack, be patient and don't get emotional. Game time. Time to be a hero.

 

Article by:Liquid Jack

   Love has not been kind to me. Obviously, because to me, love plays second fiddle as compared to achieving excellence. It is not of high priority, hence the time spent in this area is at it's minimum value as compared to the time spend in achieving excellence. However, in the last 25 years, I too have fallen in love, a couple of times. Despite of me not looking for love, I have fallen in love 3 times. I guess that love was looking for me back then.
    My first love was in 1999. I was in high school, and I fell in love with L. The first instant I've talked to her, I knew that I was going to fall for her. She's poetry in motion. The way she walks,looks,speaks...truly captivates my heart. Suffice to say, things got awry and I was sent into eternal darkness for the next couple of years. But I've never blamed her for the outcome. Besides, there lies unimaginable strength in darkness. But, more on that later.
   My second love was in 2003. I've known A for a long time, and at a specific moment, only I've realized that I have fallen for her. When suddenly, the thought of her being with someone else frightens me, as I might never see her again. When the thought of losing her crosses my mind, then only I've realized that I want her to be by my side forever. She was my light in the darkness. And well...you can guess what happens next, so I am just going to stop here, for now.
   My latest endeavor in the game of love is in 2008. Wait, my bad, it's 2007. During this era, I was looking for love, and I thought I'd found one. I've found M, and she is perfect for me.The hatred within me has dissipated and it is replaced by feelings of love and compassion. I was ready for a real commitment. Funny thing is, life has a way of telling you that you are not ready for something, by not giving you what you crave for most at that time.
   So,what am I now? Am I in darkness or am I in light? Am I ready for a real commitment or not? The truth is, right now, I don't care about love. I don't care about feeling lonely. I don't care about feeling sad. I don't care about commitments.What I care about, is to do my task well, and do it well I will. But I'll look for love, despite not caring for it. Why? Because deep down inside, underneath the darkness, I want to fall in love. I just haven't found the right person.With the absence of love, then only will you grow to appreciate it.
  

  Article by:Liquid Jack 

  Since I was young, I always thought that I was special. I would don on a Superman cape and pretend that I was Superman. I would even wear a singlet and tie my long hair so that I can pretend to be like John Rambo. As I grew older in life, life tends to prove that I am wrong. However, deep within me, I believe that I am special. There is something in this world, only I can do. Surely, they must be...I believe there is.

   To me, the darkest period of my life is when things didn't work out with L. I went completely blind after that. In fact,  I became oblivious to life. I felt lonely, and hurt. The only thing that kept me going is that the thought that I am special. Surely, not everyone can achieve a happy ending, and special people are not meant to be happy. Deep down inside, they are suffering. Just look at Batman for example. With all his wealth, good looks and social standings, deep down inside, he is suffering. However, due to this suffering, he has become 'special'. And I view myself that way. Happiness came in second. Proving that I am special, comes in first.

   The same thing again with A...and recently with M. The thought of me being special keeps me going. I will persevere one day. I believe that I can justify to myself one day on how special I am. And now, I came face to face with the demon within me. The opportunity to prove that I am special has arrived, and what did I do? I messed up. Such a blow to my belief. I was staggering from taken such a blow. All this while, am I wrong? Am I not special?Am I in denial?I hope not.

   Funny thing about life is that it is unpredictable. This unpredictability gives room to maneuver my belief of myself. With this unpredictability, anything is possible. Therefore, I can state with adamant belief that I am not wrong. I am special. I must be special, if not, then all the sacrifice will be put to waste.All the lonely days spent. Is it not worth it? The days wasted, they wouldn't return to me.Have I been wasting my time pursuing something out of my reach?

  I have to be special. I am halfway there. All the efforts that I've put forward to achieve this far, are not for not. This is it Jack, game time!

  

John says...

Present... it's the year 2008 already. Time is moving really fast now. Later we going to celebrate the month of Ramadhan (fasting for 30 days) and one month after that is Syawal. Yup, that's right. Hari Raya bakal menjelma lagi.

To me, now working in the industry for a year already has exposed me to many things. The knowledge, the people & the opportunities. Knowledge is where we study something, and put it to use for our daily job. People, many types of them. Perfectionist, opportunist, realist, you name it, I've met lotsa them here. Opportunities, in the sense that chances of getting recognition, promotion & being a "somebody" always there & it's up to us to grab it. But still I think one year is not enough for me to understand all these things. I need more time to be able to see the "picture" clearly & understand them all..

Future... I'm not gonna remain to be an engineer forever. I'm thinking of moving towards academic field. Coz of what I see during my University years, most of the lecturers were in the industry too, be it engineers, analysts, etc etc. I want to follow their footsteps. I want to teach! I want to teach the "eager young minds of tomorrow". Fancy these line eh Jack? ;)

Enough ramblings from me on this 11.02pm Malaysian time GMT+8. I'm dozing off to dreamland already... zzzzz.

 Article by:Liquid Jack

   Emotions are meant to be played on. A well played emotional chord would be like strumming a guitar: a beautiful symphony. This can only be done by a master craftsman.And that's what Casanova did. So did Napoleon, and also Yellow Kid. Hence, emotions are considered as weaknesses. Therefore, is being emotionless the key to overcome this weakness? It seems so, but I disagree with this statement.
   To me, if a men without emotions, is not a men at all, but he is nothing more than a mere robot. The definition of men, to me, is the ability to experience emotions. It's true that sometimes emotion does get in the way of making a hard decision, but being emotionless is not the answer to this problem. Emotions are like a double edge sword, it can give you strength or make you weak. Hence, with this argument, I believe that being emotionless is not the key, but controlling your emotions is.
   I've displayed 3 range of emotions that I can't seem to keep under control. They are: Love, Hate,and Passion.
   Love has cost me so much. It all happened the way it happened because I am unable to control Love. Sure,there are other external factors as well, but the main contributor to this whole load of mess, is Love. It happened in 2003 , and again in 2008. Here how it goes, in 1999,I first saw L...hold on. It's kind of a long story, so we'll get back to this story later on in the future.
   Hatred has propelled me forward. Hatred is like a fuel that keeps me going. I love to be embraced by Hatred. To me, Hatred is where I draw most of my strength from. However, it all changed in 2004. After that 'incident' , it feels wrong to be the living testament of hatred.I tried to comfort in Love instead, but that did not went well, 2008 incident is a proof of that.
   Now days, it's nether Love nor Hatred that drives me, but Passion. Although Passion has always been with me since the 2001, after me having an epiphany and all, it did not resurface until recently. Being passionate means that I expect a lot from myself, hence, the frequent state of depression that always haunts me for not fulfilling my own great expectations.
   Take today for example, Passion drove me up the wall. I was depressed and I did something that I've regretted. What did I do to ratify this feeling of guilt? Easy, I move on, and I'll make sure that tomorrow will be a better day then today and I vow to myself to not do that activity that leaves me feeling guilty.
  The quality of life is not measured with the amount of money you have,or even the qualifications that you have. The measure of life is intrinsic, and it is measured by the amount of guilt that you carry with you. That's the way I live my life: away from guilt. Of course, your moral compass needs to be pointed at the right direction in order for you to evaluate whether an activity is regrettable or not.
   I've done so many things that I regret, and there is no remedy except to just move on and learn from it. Easier said than done though. The ghost of my past shall forever haunt me, I just got to be strong enough to fend it off.
 

Article by: Liquid Jack

   When people say, "I've made an error", the first thing that other people would relate is that, error is a bad thing. Nobody likes error. And of course, to counter the negative perception of error, some dude/dudette went and coined the term, "Through error only can we learn.", showing that error has a positive side to it.
    I've discovered the joy error recently. In academics, academia dreaded error. However, the story of one academia inspired me(sort of!). In 1960, Kalman, a drop out from MIT, proposed an optimization process through a space state model. He broke the process of optimization(estimation,filtering,smoothing) into 2 main parts: the process part and measurement part. He used the theory of probability(Bayesian,Markov) to prove his point. He also showed that Wiener equation is a solution to the Kalman equations  when the process and measurement parts are linear. Yeah, it's all groundbreaking and stuff, but reading his paper, I couldn't understand a damn thing.
    Then in 1965, came Khailath. He redefined the Kalman equations and reiterate the processes in terms of innovation factor. What is an innovation factor? Basically, it's the propagated error in the Kalman equation. He rederived the entire Kalman equations in terms of innovation factor, and after reading his paper, then only can I understand the flexibility and power of the Kalman filtering technique. This proves that through error, then only it is easier to understand a certain aspect of a system.
    I've made a miscalculation recently, in my personal life. To me, every step that I've taken is a calculated step unless when there are emotions involved. But that is a story for another time. Anyway, I've made a mistake and that mistake has been the best thing that have ever happened to me since I came overseas. Is it a mistake, or is it destiny? I have no idea. However, one thing for certain, I am happy that I've made it. What is this mistake that I am talking about? Well, that's also a story for another time.
  
  

John says...

Damn you G! Damn you P** Bodolah! Damn you stupid BN! God damn it now the fuel is now RM2.70/litre, later electricity tariff will rise up, & eventually on August, it's gonna be RM4/litre. Walaueh!!


Screw you BN! Screw you all! Arghhh!!!


Beras naik, tepung naik, semua pun naik. N***b kata tukar cara hidup. Well, I'd say tukar KERAJAAN terus la  wei! 

Note: Not just I alone that is feeling so angry for this recent fuel hike, other Malaysians are also sharing the same hatred as me!

Liquid Jack here...

   Why am I feeling sad when I should feel happy? There is no reason that I should be feeling sad, but yet, I chose to. It doesn't make sense. With full of clarity, I know what I want, and yet, deep down inside, the sadness lingers.

   Maybe I am just wired wrongly. I don't know. As the day progresses, my heart aches more and more. It is ineffable. I guess, I don't actually love you, but I do miss you though. I feel like I am losing a good friend of mine. I want to talk and chat with you so badly, but I shouldn't. It takes me a couple of years to realize that I can miss you without having to actually love you. Silly me.

   Guess I knew that these day would come. In the past, everytime I fell, you were there to break my fall. You were a good friend. I hope that I was a good friend to you too. And now,perhaps I am about to have the biggest fall of my life, and you won't be around to break my fall this time. I am scared. I am terrified. 

   But I must take the fall. At least I tried full heartedly, right? This girl, she's something,  I love her so much. Yes, I am very sure. Don't laugh, I am certain that I love her, seriously. I am willing to put all my emotions on the line for her, despite having a low chance of success. Yeah, I know, I've never done that before. Haa, now only you acknowledged that she's something huh?Pray for my success, will you? Thanks for the tips, I appreciate them. Wow, I feel a lot better after talking to you.

   It's been fun imagining talking to you. I wish you all the best. Finally, your dream came true. As for me, I've only began to dream.

John says...

Jack my man, I think i want steer away from talking on politics from now on. Got my mind all haywire when I starting to talk on politics, if you know what i mean?

Apparently the price for LCD tvs has dropped these days. Last time I saw was a Samsung 32 inchers costing around RM2299. Previously, the same brand would cost you as high as RM3k++ for a 32".

I'm aiming for the Full HD LCD tvs to drop to below RM3k, if that is possible. Full HD is a higher resolution at 1920x1080p, which the graphics is really awesome!   But to experience a Full HD, one must buy at least the minimum size of 40" & above. Really? Crap lah. Philips is also selling a 37" Full HD, and latest I know; Samsung is selling a 32 inchers Full HD LCD tv. hehehe.

But the downside is that, if you wanna use these LCD tvs for your normal TV3, 8TV casual viewing, or ASTRO, then I'd say better not get it. This is because the screen will be pixellated when viewing say TV3 on the LCD tv. But for next-gen gaming or DVD/Blu-ray movie view, it's the best as the LCD tv will fully utilize the graphics coming from either from your game console or the DVD / Blu-ray player ( sorry HD-DVD, you already got blown out of water by Sony Bluray's market. Tough luck eh Toshiba ?   )


Jack, you know I'm a graphics whore right? Sounds is second, graphics comes first!