Article by:Liquid Jack

   In the last episode, Jack gave flowers to A2 and was about to confess, until a hunch told him not to. When will the confession be? Will there be confession at all? Tune in to find out...

   I lied down in the middle of the road. The weather is perfect, and there were not a lot of cars around. Obviously, since it's 4am. I looked up the stars trying to spot some constellations, but I failed miserably at it. H was laughing her ass off at my poor constellation spotting skills. Suddenly, out of the blue, H asked me... Wait, wait...let's back up a little. You guys are probably wondering who is H right?
   I met H a couple of weeks ago, as she just moved in. I introduced myself, helped her move in and things began to take its natural course from there. H is very young...very very young, and also very very weird...in a good way. In other words, she's very interesting. Unpredictable and totally random.
   Anyway, H would go for her random walks at very early in the morning. So, one fine day, me being an upstanding gentleman and all, accompanied her in one of her random walks as I was concerned about her safety. I know, I know...my soft spot for women has grown considerably since the old days, but that is a story for another time. Anyway, back to the present where we left off, H asked me:
"So, Jack, what's up with you and A2?"
I was caught off guard. Wow, didn't know that she would be so blunt and direct.
"Nothing's up. We are just friends," I answered calmly.
"Right," she said cynically.
"Well, to be more precise, nothing's up...yet," I chuckled.
"You like her a lot do you?"
"Yeah, is it that obvious?"
"Yup, everyone can tell. You do know she has a boyfriend."
"Yeah, I know that."
"So...what are you going to do about it?"
"I don't know, never really thought about it."
   I got up and brushed the dirt off my back.
"Shall we make a move?", I asked H with a smile.
   She got up and started to twirl in a ballet like motion. Why did she do that? Told you before, she's just plain weird.
"You know that it's gonna end badly for you, right?"
"Yeah, I know."
"Yet you still proceed. Jack, you are weird...very weird."
"Huh, it means nothing much coming from you," I said it with a smile.
I've just realized that something needs to be done about my feelings for A2 as things will not settle by itself.  Besides, my feelings for her are so obvious and it must come to an end , one way or the other. I tried confessing my love  to her the last time(Episode 11) but I felt that it wasn't the right time. There will never be a right time, not in the current situation that I am in. Little did I know, I started losing myself, slowly, as I descent into the drama. I am in an emotional storm.

 

John says...


I've started to play this rare & should I say a sleeper hit JRPG (Japanese RPG) Xbox360 game called Enchanted Arms. I've bought this game since early 2007 but yet I didn't play it due to I was hooked with other games.

So, Enchanted Arms tell us the story of a young boy named Atsuma, who is a student in this Enchant Academy (sort of FF8's Galbadia magic school thingy) that has the ability to "neutralize" any Ether/Magic effects with his right arm. Unbeknowst to him, he actually possess a demonic power that can summon a Devil Golem Fire Demon, which was thought to be perished in the previous Golem Wars. His ability was "awakened" when he & his friends fought the Devil Golem Queen of Ice. Lost the battle, lost his friends, now Atsuma must journey through out the country to defeat Queen of Ice in his quest for vengeance.

Ahh...enough intro already. I've just clocked in 10 hours in the game. According to the game brochure, this game offers more than 50hours of gameplay. Oh really...I think I can do more... (FFX really suck my life out last time... total of 175hours eh Jack? )

All what  I can say is: the graphics is AWESOME, the battle system is unique ( it's using a battle grid system, two 4 by 4 grid )& story? Well.. it's your typical JRPG lah

Oh yeah, this game is also available for PS3.

Article by:Liquid Jack

   Previously, Jack fell in love with A2. What stupid things that he do this week born out from his love towards A2? Tune in to find out...

   I am tired, being all alone. I am done being single. You know, I think I'll make a bloody good boyfriend, or even a husband. But hey, I was always denied the things that I crave the most, and why this time should be any different? What makes it different?
   I waited for her, nervously. She came down the steps, looking fresh as the morning air and smell of roses. I was captivated by her beauty. I ushered her out. And along the way I told her that we need to make a pit stop before going to the arcades. She agreed and hence, we went into a shopping mall.
   "Hey, A2, if you don't mind , I want get myself this shoe. Would you mind waiting for a while?"
   "Yeah, no problem, I'll just browse through some phones in this shop."
    I rushed to the nearby florist. I bought her 3 roses along with some...leafs-thingy. The flowers were wrapped nicely, and everything was perfect. I gave her a call.
   "Hi, once you are done browsing the phones, I'll be waiting outside , is that ok?"
   "All right. See you outside."
   I waited for a couple of minutes, and there she came. I was absolutely nervous. Even in autumn, I felt my palm sweating. I walked towards her and then present her the flowers. She was surprised.  At that moment, she looked so happy. Smiling from ear to ear. She looked so beautiful. My heart was beating like in a rock band. It's true, I was in love with her. She turned to me with her beautiful eyes and asked:
   "Thank you, what is this for?", in a tone that is almost in tears.
   This is it. The time to do it. The time to tell her. But I felt it's too early to do so. I felt that, at this moment, I cannot match her boyfriend. I felt, it's not the right time.
   However, little did I know that life has other plans for me. A plan, that I am not ready for...
 

Article by:Liquid Jack
 
   In the last episode, Jack told A2 that he likes her. What are the repercussions of his action? Stay tune and find out...
  
   As Friedrich Nietzche once mentioned, a man who loses focus on his goal due to his emotions is a fool. I went in, with an objective in mind, with a gameplan in hand, and yet I lost my focus. I destroyed my own gameplan. I lost focus. I was a fool.
   I acted as if I was interested to the girl that I was talking to, but actually, I was only interested in A2. I stood up, and said my goodbyes. I walked towards A2, asked her if she wants to leave with me. She said no, she would like to stay on. I said it's cool and I am gonna grab a sandwich first before heading home. I bid my farewell and walked on to the sandwich shop.
   It was colder than usual, and the night is darker than usual. I thought to myself, that summer is almost over and winter shall now be arriving. Eventhough the sandwich shop is just nearby, but it felt like a long walk for me. I thought about L,A and M,the funny thing is, after all these years, it still hurts. Espescially A...
   I walked into the shop and the cashier greeted me. I ordered my sandwich and during that time, I thought to myself, maybe I shouldn't be hanging out with A2. I know that I would hurt myself in the end, yet I tried to enjoy the ride(Episode 9). Deep down inside, I don't wanna hurt myself again. I am afraid. If you know the ending is going to be bad, then why should you travel that path? I have a choice, and that is not to travel this path again. It's the same scenario as M, and look how it ended up. I was adamant not to be involve this time. I was focus not to .
   Then suddenly, someone tapped my shoulder. I turned to my left and there she was, beside me. A2 was standing beside me. I was shocked to find her beside me. I asked her, why did she come, and she replied that she doesn't know. She just came. I know it didn't mean much to a normal person but to me it did. My focus earlier was slowly eroding. And that's when I put myself in a checkmate.  I was almost in tears by her answer as I was touched.
   I smiled at her, and said thanks. And at that exact moment, I was not focus anymore. I lost focus on my goal due to my emotions and I was a fool. A fool...in love.

Article by:Liquid Jack

   Previously, Jack was contemplating whether he should pull off an M with A2. Did he do it? What new plots materialize this time...

   At nearly three quarter of a great story, there would always be a twist. It is called a change over. This is when the audience would get sucked into the story and would utter the word 'WTF' to the event that just occurred. A great film would have an impactful change over. And so does this story.
   It was after sahur. I've wanted to talk to her for a while regarding the matter. I was just finding the right time to speak to her, somewhere private. So we went to the kitchen, and it was only the 2 of us, and I told her...wait a minute, let's back up to last week for now.
   People have been suspecting something was up between us for quite a while now, but last week,it reached its pinnacle state. It's because I've been spending 100% of my free time with A2. Wherever I was, there she was. I really don't mind actually, because I like her a lot and A2 doesn't mind either because....well, I have no idea why. Anyway, good friends of ours kept bugging us because they are aware that A2 isn't single and it is crystal clear that I like her. Things could only end up ugly for me.
   And there I was, thinking to myself, on how to make this story more...interesting. Of course I knew the ending before hand, and it doesn't bug me at all. I am just enjoying the ride here. And I believe that, what doesn't kill you will only make you stranger. So,what should I do to spice things up, to complicate things? I know, why don't just be honest...and we all know, honesty is the most complicated solution of them all.
   So, back to the 2nd paragraph. So we went to the kitchen, and it was only the 2 of us, and I told her how I really felt about her. It wasnt a confession mind you, more like an expression of the hearts. So, I told her, everything. Things will get more complicated, just as planned, and as promised Jack(episode 7).
   Why would I want to complicate things? Because it's fun. I know what I've to become to get what I want. London needs a classier Jack, and I am gonna give it to them. You'll see, I'll show you.

John says...

It's that time of the year again. It's the fasting month, Ramadhan. Ah..what joy in this month is. All your good deeds will be doubled, your little good deeds (pahala) will become that of the normal pahala, & normal pahala will become double! Ain't that awesome? ;)

The usual scene every evening. The Ramadhan bazaar, selling all kind of food. Ranging from murtabak, nasi beriani, roast chicken, etc etc. But one must be reminded that he should not waste these food by buying lotsa them & end up not eating them in the end. I would buy a mee goreng/kuay teow, kuihs, drink & food for the sahur later. If last year, my budget is not more than RM10, well, for this year, it's slightly higher. Damn the fuel hike.

During the night time, one should go to surau/mosque for tarawih prayers. A good 8 rakaat would do great ( as i can't really focus more than that :P )plus the witir prayers at the end. This tarawih prayers I take it as a form of exercise, after the sumptous berbuka hehehe.

The first week already gone, and left with 3 more weeks to go. Time is so fast.. and after that it's Hari Raya.

Article by:Liquid Jack
 
    In the last episode, Jack met with A2 and predicts himself to fall in love with her sooner or later. Has he...?

    I can't take my eyes off of her. My mind is so fixated on her currently. I feel like hanging out with her all the time. I know that I will fall for A2, but not this fast. It escalated to another level in a matter of 2 months. The problem with fast escalation is that it will always never be mutual. Never.
    As I said before, I was attracted to A2 the first moment I met her. It wasn't love at first sight, more like attraction at first sight. She exuberates a certain quality that I am looking for. It's complicated to describe, she's warm and motherly,easygoing and outgoing, something along those lines. It's just that, everytime I hear her voice, I'll be in a state of euphoric , and the saddest thing in this happiness is that I can't tell why. And to add, she smells nice as well. Spending time with her has made my feelings for her escalated.
   I can't see her with other guys, I will be very jealous. I know, I am not supposed to feel this way, but I felt it. And hanging out in a group is killing me on the inside. In fact, hanging out with her alone is also becoming a bad idea as I might expose the fact that I've fallen for her, almost on the verge of falling in love. And not hanging out with her is destroying me. I am stuck in between. It is so tempting because I see her everyday.
   It feels like there are 2 of me:one ask me to go after her and devise a 6 months contigency plan and the other one just ask me to go with the flow, to strike when there is an opportunity. Honestly, from a logical point of view, going after her now would elliminate future candidates for me as she is a social hub to me. On the other hand, I like her a lot and it is hard to contain it any further.
   So, what will it be Jack? Sometimes, I ask myself, who is the real monster that I am trying to suppress here, myself or the monster within? Why do I seek the happiness that has abandoned me? Do I need to pull of an M with A2? Honestly, I don't know the answers. But I kind of sense, that I will get hurt at the end of the day. And everyone knows, I love to hurt myself. Besides, if it is meant to be, then she is not going anywhere.

John says...

It's been a while since I posted my last entry here. So whatever happened to me you ask? Well, things have been really busy for me, and I do mean BUSY. Works & more works coming. Got a multiple projects going on..and new machines are coming to factory on this coming October...that means I may HAVE TO SACRIFICE Hari Raya this year. Hell no I'm gonna let that happen!

I've been playing GTA4 for past few weeks. Graphics are awesome, storyline ok lah & the controls not really tight but still playable though. You control the hero (or should I say anti-hero? ) named Niko Bellic, who comes from an Eastern European country. Your cousin, Roman Bellic believes that America is the land of opportunity, giving him the fame & fortune, but unfortunately that's not true. He got into lotsa debts & have to live under the pressure of mobs & triads. You, as the protagonist in the game will have to help him out of his trouble & make your way to control Liberty CIty for yourself. This storyline is kinda the same for all previous GTA games. YOu come from somewhere, you start from nothing, you work your way up, then you control the city..ppfftt. But what made the game really great is that the TOTAL FREEDOM it offers you... ROb a bank, jack a car, steal, kill civilans, killing cop for fun ( Jack, where's that shotgun you promised to buy me for my bday eh? :P )etc etc.

I've control almost half of the city already (the city got 3 islands;2/3 islands under my control). I think I'm almost done with the game...I think. :P 

Jack, if your alter ego is Solid Snake from MGS, well, below is mine!

Blowing cops & stuff...that is seriously awesome stuff.

Article by: Liquid Jack

   When we last left our hero , he was in a pinch, mostly due to his loneliness. Worry not,for he has found a cure for it. A remedy you might say. But anyway, here how it goes.

   There's this 'monster' inside of me, that resurfaces everytime whenever things get tense. Once in a blue moon, he would take over me, and carry me along, kicking and screaming, to achieve my goal. This 'monster' has never disappoint me. He gets what he wants, whenever he wants. It has been a part of me since the post L days. Every single day it keeps on growing and growing, feeding on all of the hatred buried deep beneath my soul, in hopes that he will consume me. I realized this, but I chose to let him resurface once in a while, just because he carries me through the hard times.
   There is one person that I rely on, just to keep the 'monster' in check. If you've been reading since Errors(01), you can pretty sure guess the person is A. That's why I need her. Anyway, A is no more, and I thought that the 'monster' would break out on a rampage but to my surprise, it didn't happen. Why didn't it happen? It's because of her, and for simplicity sake, I would call her, A2.
   I met A2 at a very crucial time of my life. I was just annihilated by M, and was in a fragile state. Furthermore, A won't be available anymore(past episodes) and that saddens me. I thought like, "This is it, it's your time to takeover", but it didn't happen, because I met A2. Sure, I had I(more on this in future episodes) to keep me company, but she was thousand of miles away , and I barely even know her. During my soul searching, when I was at my most vulnerable, there comes A2 on a silver platter. What do I mean?
   My relationship with A was intricate yet compelling. In other words it was confusing yet comforting, you know? To emulate this amount of complexity in a relationship with someone is impossible up to the point of being absurd.  But thinking about it now, I liked how it went, and I am certainly ecstatic about the ending though. A got what she wants, and dear old Jack was let free into the world. A fine fairytale ending. I believe what I have with A can be replicated in A2, and that's what I am aiming for currently.
   There was certainly attraction on my part towards A2, she looks like a mixture between A and M, in fact, everytime I went out with her, she feels like a crossover between those 2. She has a boyfriend, so I wouldn't want to pull of a stunt I pulled off on M with her. Her role, with or without she realizing it, is to be a crucial component in the uprising of Jack.Or maybe to my downfall? Huh, we'll see about that. For the
same reason I need A, I need A2.She suppresses the 'monster' within me. Time and time again has proven, and if I know myself better, I will fall for A2 as I fell for A. But, I'll think about it as I cross the bridge. Live in the present, Jack.

Article by:Liquid Jack
  
    There's this feeling, deep down inside, that resurfaces once in a while. A feeling of loneliness. A feeling that cannot be satisfied no matter how many friends I have, how active I am or even how busy I am. The only person that relieve me of my pain is someone I have not met yet, the love of my life.
    I have never been in a relationship, never. I kept telling myself that it is because of religious purposes, it is because that I see myself as a pious man. However deep down inside, you and I know that it's a load of crap. I only hid my insecuritiness behind my piousness.
    Like the first time I met L . I have this concept that coupling is haram. The only way is to get married to the girl you like straight away. I was pious back then.I don't even talk to girls, in fact I rarely speak. Speak only when necessary, that's what I believed. But I like L so much. I can't control and hence I've broken one of my principle: I talked to her. Then, I realized talking is not enough, hence I started to talk on the phone. After that, I realized ,talking on the phone wasn't enough, I must date her. But then, the iman juice kicks in, and I realized the error of my ways,hence I confessed my love to her in hopes that I get rejected, in hopes that I can get this over with and return to my ideal self. Yeah, that's what I would like to believe...however, there is a small part of me that wish that she would accept my love. Life wouldn't give you something that you are not ready for . Hence, I was rejected. And I miscalculated. My instinct grew and grew, I began to feel lonely. Nevertheless, I ignored this feeling...until I met A.
   If people would ask me, if I had fallen in love before, I would answer yes, and it's with A. But I was too much of an ass too realized it back then. A was the 1st girl I went out with,and I was 17.I had this vow not to go out with girls but the loneliness is killing me, hence I broke it. It's not a date or anything, just a casual lunch. I still remember that first time until this very day. It was SPM result collection day, and I was hungry after getting my results, hence I invited A out as I saw her at the school entrance.A was just a friend back then. I was lonely, and I needed some company. We went to Canai & Such, and I was freaking hungry. The thought of Nasi Lemak was crossing my head. However, A just ordered a plain roti canai. I was pretty nervous back then, hence I ordered the same as her, foregoing the fact that I was famished. A was great. Pious,calm,stoic and a great listener. In fact, I love her very much, but it didn't end quite well, due to my fault. I brought upon myself my own downfall. That my friend...is the story of stories, which I would tell another time.
    Next, is M. I was lonely, and I needed some company. I want to get myself a wife, to be married, happily ever after and all that stuff...but I wasn't ready , cause life denies my request. I gave everything to capture M's heart, alas, to no avail. I was mortified, sad,petrified...all sorts of felling was rushing through my vein. I've broken my principle of not dating girls in order to get her. As I grew older, I've broken more and more of my principles. How low will I go?When will this end? Can I return back to the person that I used to be? I have no freaking idea.
    Sometimes, I feel like, I will become the best husband ever. I want to.At other times, I feel like...I'll never get to feel that way.  All I want is true love, yet I was denied all the time. What ticks me off is that even a guy who is playing around can get a girl, but why can't I? I have better intentions than those bastards and yet, girls digg them.Must I be that shallow to find true love?
   Maybe I was destined to suffer, to roam this earth all alone picking up pieces of my heart which has been shattered to a million pieces. My heart is in pain...every single day. I am done being single, but there's nothing I can do about it. I tried, but now, I am sick of trying. It's not that I've given up...not at all. I've lost a huge chunk of my heart , and I am sinking deeper every minute. If a heart only brings me pain, then better just to get rid of it. I can't bear this loneliness any longer. If it is my destiny...not to have a heart,so be it. I'll embrace it. Demolish the heart, demolish loneliness . To the next girl that I will like: Will you be the one to finally finish me?
   Whatever it is, one way or the other, the story must come to an end. Last time, I opted for the happy ending. But now, I don't give a shit, so long as it ends. A hero no more.